I've been kindly provided with a door intercom, which includes smart new phones. In theory, it means that if someone comes to the door I can talk to them and decide whether to invite them in or not! It's of course a great help.It reminded me of the book I've just finished reading, by Basil Hume, called Basil in Blunderland. As long as you're not an intellectual snob, I recommend it as a book about the spiritual life. Anyway it's set in the context of a game of hide-and-seek, which gives rise a series of meditations. The great thing about them is that they are thoroughly realistic and practical.
"I began to think of an aunt of mine - I call her Auntie B - who was very old and extremely deaf. She could not hear what I was saying. She disliked telephones anyway. She had very little to say. Why, then, did I telephone her? Simply because it was good to know that she was there, and to realise that she was pleased that I had taken the trouble to call her.
"Many of us have this kind of experience when we pray. It is like telephoning someone who is deaf and apparently has nothing to say to us. But then God does not have ears like us. Nor does He have a voice like ours. So what is the point of phoning Him, that is praying to Him? Sometimes I say to myself that God is like Auntie B, bad on the telephone. Nonetheless when I begin to speak to Him in prayer I sense that He is pleased that I am doing so. He is pleased that I am paying attention to Him. When I pray I know that He is there listening to what I have to say. But does He answer when I make my requests? Has He heard me? I realised long ago that I have to have faith and patience that, in fact, God answers our prayers in His way and not in ours. Now He knows what is good for us and what is harmful. In fact, He has only one desire for us. It is that we should get closer to Him and eventually be given the gift of everlasting life with Him. Whatever helps that, we shall receive, whatever does not lead to that, we shall not. Nonetheless every prayer we say draws us closer to Him."
I think that experience of feeling God is deaf is a common one. It's certainly one that appears in the old psalms. But what I like is the fact that actually God is attentive and pleased when we try and pray. Basil Hume makes no claims at being "good" at praying - which is why he is so helpful. Here's one more bit about how hard it is to concentrate our flibberty-gibberty minds when we're praying.
"Distractions are part of the experience of praying.... 'So, Lord, I go on trying to fix my thoughts on You. I find that I cannot get out of my head an anxiety that has been bothering me these last few days. Lord, may I share it with You?' I just sit quietly, and the persons I am worried about appear one by one in my mind. As I see each one, I offer them to God to give them His care - and, I ask him to resolve my anxiety. And, I would like to be freed from distractions just for a little time - well, till the next one comes along.
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| Gauguin, Christ in the olive trees |
