Blubbing in church

Today I cried in church. It's not a normal occurrence, despite the emotional "lability" symptom of PLS. It was awkward because I was at the front with Jane, and the church was going to pray for us. We've been with them for three years and they've been like an oasis to our weary selves. Coincidentally or not the church is called Elim (Numbers 33.^{9: "}And they set out from Marah and came to Elim; at Elim there were twelve springs of water and seventy palm trees, and they camped there.") Now we believe it's time to be journeying on.


The trouble was, I looked up at the people who had welcomed us and received into their family, and who'd become deeper than friends to us. And it cracked me up. It was a bit embarrassing all round. Jane told me afterwards she hadn't seen it coming! But everyone waited patiently for me to pull myself together. Actually I have a feeling quite a number were praying. And I tried to remember to take deep breaths. Eventually I was able, by dint of keeping my eye on the ground, to articulate some of what I wanted to say, which included "Thank you" and "You haven't seen the last of us". We are, after all, still remaining here in Grove, and do feel free to worship with them whenever. As someone said, God's Church is in reality one Church; our divisions are man-made and artificial. 


However, I reflected, as I sat there and as I'd sat in another church over three years ago, how real and deep is the love that God creates within his family. "Faith, hope and love abide, but the greatest of these is love." 


Incidentally, to be honest, I can think of no better place to cry, even to howl with pain, than in the presence of God. Sometimes we think we must present a smiling face to him, as if "I'm fine" deceives him for a nanosecond. One of the lovely things this morning was our friends' willingness to share in our pain, if it was pain. Perhaps it was a confusion of emotions. But share it they did; deny it they did not. Bless them.

Band of brothers

When I hurt my back five weeks ago, Bryan brought home the dvd series, Band of Brothers, to keep me out of mischief. It's not exactly entertaining watching, but it's certainly gripping. It's the story of E "Easy" Company of the American 101st Airborne Division from their initial training in 1942 through being dropped over Normandy on D-Day to the end of the war in Europe. There are a lot of harrowing scenes. It's brilliantly filmed under the direction of Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg. I think it should be watched by everyone in the UK, especially those of us with any anti-American tendencies. I'd put it alongside Andrea Levy's Small Island for giving the post-war generation some understanding of what our parents went through and what we owe to them.

There's one awful episode when the company comes across one of the many concentration camps across Germany. "Hey, Web," says one of them. "Can you believe this place?" "No...." replies his friend. True to life, there's a lot of suffering in the series - which includes the veterans who are portrayed reflecting on their memories - and yet....

It's far from unmitigated darkness. There's tragic waste of life. As Webster laconically comments, on hearing Hitler's shot himself in Berlin, "He should have shot himself three years ago. Saved us a lot of trouble." "Yeah, he should have. But he didn't," comes the reply. Yet there's a powerful comradeship which has been built up through the years of pain and fear and loss - hence, of course, the series' title Band of Brothers. In a brilliant piece of script writing the expression of this is given to a German officer addressing his troops after surrender and translated by the German-speaking American:  "Men, it's been a long war, it's been a tough war. You've fought bravely, proudly for your country. You're a special group. You've found in one another a bond, that exists only in combat, among brothers. You've shared foxholes, held each other in dire moments. You've seen death and suffered together. I'm proud to have served with each and every one of you. You all deserve long and happy lives in peace." 

'Our calling is to relieve suffering'

It seems to me that a universal truth is being expressed. Not that war is desirable ("All war is sinful," as I once heard a soldier say), not that suffering is good (Our calling is to relieve, not enjoy, suffering), but that there is a fellowship in suffering - and that is good, profoundly good, and possibly redemptive in a way that nothing else is. Perhaps that's why St Paul talks about wishing that "I may know him (Jesus) and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death" as a precursor to enjoying life with him after death (Philippians 3.10). I've always had trouble understanding that verse. But the bond forged in suffering is immensely strong.