Grace abounds

Just back from a week at the New Wine church conference (where the idea for this blog came from two years ago) and I thought I'd better report something. I'm sorry not to be able to report that this year I was on my feet dancing (see Could there be anything better than this?)..., but there were other things.

The worship music, as is the way today, was very high octane. I think the first bass drum beats scared the life out of the two guide dogs I could see! Certainly after that they left for the songs and returned to their owners for the talks! In fact most of the worship was led by Martin Smith, formerly lead singer of the popular group Delirious. He was very good at helping us to worship. I liked a new song from Australia called Oceans.

"You call me out upon the waters,
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery.
In oceans deep
My faith will stand.

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves.
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine.

Your grace abounds in deepest waters.
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me.
You've never failed and You won't start now.

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves....

Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders.
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Saviour." 


Here it is sung in a Florida church: "Oceans" worship song. 

The line which struck me was "Your grace abounds in deepest waters". You'll understand why it appealed to me. It reminds me of St Paul rejoicing in his weakness because God's strength was made perfect in it. 

In her blog today, Bo Stern wrote something even more gritty. (She's the pastor whose husband has aggressive ALS/MND.) 

 "I wish I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard this cliche which is well-meaning, but not very good theology:  God will never give you more than you can handle.  I suspect it’s a mashup of I Corinthians 10:13 (which is talking about temptation and sin) and too much time in the Hallmark store.

Regardless of its origins, it drives me a little crazy because it implies there’s a supernatural safety valve and don’t you worry, because when this battle gets really tough, He’ll fix it.

But for me, it is rough and He hasn’t.  Fixed it, that is.  He’s been with us in it.  He’s gone before us.  He comforts us on the days when strength and hope are so far in the rear view that I’m sure they’re gone for good.  He has been with us in this fight and we’re so thankful but make no mistake: it’s is well beyond our ability.  Beyond, beyond.  Super beyond.

And that’s okay, because He excels at being God when I cannot and He has a pretty impressive track record.  Nearly every Bible hero I admire faced a situation far outside their weight class.  Come to think of it, so have the people I admire most in my world.  Something beautiful happens in us when we are outnumbered and in over our heads, so let’s not wish those moments away or pump platitudes at people who are suffering because we aren’t sure what else to say; let’s just be thankful that He will be in the fights that are most definitely more than we can handle.  Let’s, in fact, rejoicewhen we are given opportunities to live, love, battle and forgive in ways that far exceed our own abilities.

Jesus said, “In this world, you will have trouble…”  (and I’m pretty sure He’s talking about the Big Stuff — the Red Sea-meets-Goliath-meets-fiery-furnace type of trouble) but cheer up!   He has – ultimately and eternally – overcome the world.  Weeping may last for this moment, but heaven will have the last laugh.

Count on it."  Bo Stern's myth buster No 2.

There's lots more I could recount from the week, but I had better process it and let it sink in.

Glory in the cave

I've been thinking about Psalm 57 today. It's one of those psalms where David tells God just what he's feeling. I don't know whether I'd have put verse 3 like that, but the great thing he keeps affirming is that "the God of all the earth will do right", as Abraham put it. God's character is both just and loving. As St John said of Jesus, "full of grace and truth". No one else combines both of those to perfection. When we hear of awful human atrocities, or even experience minor injustices ourselves, our reaction is naturally one of anger, which may well be appropriate, but maintaining love is beyond us.

I preached last Sunday about the Spirit in Prayer (Sermons at St John's/28th July), and quoted Maureen Greaves' testimony. The widow of the organist murdered going to Midnight Mass in Sheffield, at his funeral, said she had decided to forgive the two young men as it was what her husband would have wanted: “It has to be a daily act of saying ‘I place them in your hands, God’, so that I don’t have to worry about them, I don’t have to hate them. After the massive shock and heartbreak, this was probably the most difficult thing I have ever had to do, to go down the path of forgiving them.
“It has been a wonderful release that I have not had the burden of hatred towards them. I have to do it every day so I don’t lapse. It is not an easy journey to look two men in the face who have killed the person you love most in the world and hang onto that.
“When you are sitting there in court and you see them and you are heartbroken at what they have done to you, they have taken from you the person who is still your soulmate, it is very difficult to sit there and continue to forgive them and want to forgive them.
“One thing I have comforted myself with is that the God I believe in had a son who was beaten as Alan was beaten. The God I believe in had a son who was resurrected as I believe Alan will be resurrected to be with God.”

Only God's Holy Spirit can enable us to prayer from our hearts: "Your will (not mine) be done.... Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us." Only the Holy Spirit can give us the attitude of gratitude which David maintains, even in the blackness of his cave. Come, Holy Spirit.

Let Your Glory Be over All the Earth

To the choirmaster: according to Do Not Destroy. A Miktam of David, when he fled from Saul, in the cave.

57 Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,
    for in you my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,
    till the storms of destruction pass by.
² I cry out to God Most High,
    to God who fulfils his purpose for me.
³ He will send from heaven and save me;
    he will put to shame him who tramples on me. Selah
God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!
⁴ My soul is in the midst of lions;
    I lie down amid fiery beasts—
the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows,
    whose tongues are sharp swords.
⁵ Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!
    Let your glory be over all the earth!
⁶ They set a net for my steps;
    my soul was bowed down.
They dug a pit in my way,
    but they have fallen into it themselves. Selah
⁷ My heart is steadfast, O God,
    my heart is steadfast!
I will sing and make melody!
⁸     Awake, my glory!
Awake, O harp and lyre!
    I will awake the dawn!
⁹ I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples;
    I will sing praises to you among the nations.
¹⁰ For your steadfast love is great to the heavens,
    your faithfulness to the clouds.
¹¹ Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!
    Let your glory be over all the earth!  (English Standard Version)

Kate Granger's "Dear Cancer"

I must copy this blog post from Dr Kate Granger, one of the bloggers I most admire, in its moving entirety. As a specialist in elderly medicine, she knows what she's talking about.

Dear Cancer…

Dear Cancer,

It has been an extremely interesting 2 years getting to know you. You gave me quite a shock in America all those months ago. To be honest your appearance in my life at that time was unwanted and frightening. My career was flourishing and we were planning to start a family. You took away all those aspirations in one fail swoop and left me in a mutilated and depressed state. I’m not sure I can ever properly forgive you for that although I immediately accepted that this was how my life was going to be, and that you were to be a constant companion that I was going to have to learn to get along with.

The months of treatment to suppress you and bring you under control took their toll on me both physically and mentally until I decided to stop the treatment and let you do your worst. I was determined to keep smiling and live my life to the full including a return to work before you got the better of me. In some ways it is because of you that I have been able to live the most wonderful lifestyle for the past year. I never would have been able to meet the Queen if it wasn’t for you so in a strange kind of way I am grateful. I think you have made me into a much more tolerant, optimistic and happy person and I thank you for that.   

Well, you’ve been asleep now for 19 months. I wonder every day how to keep you settled and peaceful in your slumber. I also wonder every day when you are going to awaken and how you plan to take my life. Are you going to obstruct my bowels? Are you going to cause a pulmonary embolism? Are you just going to overwhelm my body? I guess you haven’t decided this yet yourself, but please be kind and let it be quick whichever way you finally settle on.

Kind regards, 

Kate x

I do recommend you read her blog (http://drkategranger.wordpress.com/). It combines clear-sighted realism with a positive outlook which is such a contrast to the victimhood "pity-me" approach which all too many people encourage us terminally ill patients to adopt. It is simply beautiful. And inspiring.

The uses of adversity

Outside the theatre

A week ago, Jane and I drove to Stratford to see the RSC production of As You Like it, to celebrate our wedding anniversary. It was, you'll recall, one of the glorious clear sunny days we've been enjoying. We were very grateful for the air-conditioning in our car!

The production was great fun - once the men had got over mistaking shouting for emphasis and Jaques had stopped gabbling (I must be getting old and hard of hearing!). In my view, it shouldn't be necessary to have mugged up on a Shakespeare play to understand the meaning. Really good actors are able to bring Shakespearean English to life even for contemporary audiences. Fortunately the central characters achieved just that, most importantly Rosalind, the most major female role in Shakespeare (25% of lines), played by Pippa Nixon.

Rosalind and Orlando finally united (the "hippy" Duke just behind Orlando) - RSC photo

The plot involves an usurping duke and a selfish older brother driving various of their relatives into exile in the Forest of Arden (I assume where the paté comes from). In his first speech the ousted Duke, Senior, portrayed in this production presiding over something of a hippy-style commune and himself a bit like an aging rock star, says:
"Here feel we but the penalty of Adam,
The seasons' difference, as the icy fang
And churlish chiding of the winter's wind,
Which, when it bites and blows upon my body,
Even till I shrink with cold, I smile and say
'This is no flattery: these are counsellors
That feelingly persuade me what I am.'
Sweet are the uses of adversity,
Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears yet a precious jewel in his head;
And this our life exempt from public haunt
Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones and good in every thing.
I would not change it." 

I was struck by the expression, "Sweet are the uses of adversity". Our instinct is to run from adversity, to avoid pain. And yet there is something precious to be found in it. Exiled from all that is "civilised", what we might regard as the normal comforts of life, the Duke finds "good in every thing". This is poetry of course which can't be paraphrased - but, for example, the trees might speak of the beauty in each season of life and the miracle of rebirth, the brooks might be illustrating the infinite diversity and the wonderful interconnectedness of creation, and the stones teach that hardship is an integral part of existence; without it life would be bland.

Rosalind disguised as the young man, Ganymede - RSC photo

Pippa Nixon's performance was outstanding, with the ambiguities and tensions of the role, beginning and ending as the lively Rosalind and in between disguised as Ganymede, at once strong and vulnerable. It's a supremely demanding part. I suppose we were focused on her as she once came to a birthday barbecue in our garden here; so we were pleased to be able to congratulate her at the end. A great way to celebrate our marriage - thanks, Pippa and the RSC!

Understanding God

Here's something that Bo Stern has recently written about working on her new book, Ruthless - Knowing the God who fights for you.

"Here's what I'm convinced of, friend:  God longs for us to know Him.  Just like we long to be known and loved by those dearest to us; He longs for us to pursue an understanding of His character.  I'm freshly aware of how painful it must be for Him when we shake our fist at the problems we think He caused or treat Him like a vindictive, volatile taskmaster.  I'm also convinced that this ignorance regarding His ability and integrity (aka: bad theology) is why so many Christians are stuck in bitterness, frustration and purposelessness, especially when they face a Really Big Battle."

And something else, adapted from a book I've just finished reading by Salley Vickers, Miss Garnet's Angel. "What do you think a god looks like when he works in men? ... courage and truth and mercy and right action...", said by the Archangel Raphael to Tobias. 

I apologise not to have blogged recently. I blame our daughter's new therapy puppy - but perhaps it would be fairer to accuse my own lack of resistance to Wimbledon and the Tour de France! And I'm trying also to get on with my own book....

Bothering enough

On Sunday I was justly rebuked for an uncompassionate knee-jerk comment I made in reaction to a news story. It is painful but healthy when someone bothers enough to upbraid you - and they're right!

Today is St Barnabas' Day, and I've just read this from the iBenedictines blog. 

Encouragement

by Digitalnun on June 11, 2013

St Barnabas, the Son of Encouragement, gets something of a raw deal from the Church. His feast is kept as a memoria rather than a festum, and his (presumed) mortal remains are kept in a basilica in northern Cyprus* (looked after by a Muslim caretaker) rather than in some grand church in Rome. No doubt it is my quirky sense of humour, but that strikes me as being very fitting for someone who gives encouragement. To encourage another, we have to have a very just (= modest) opinion of ourselves and a very generous (= hopeful) opinion of the other. The liturgical reticence of today’s commemoration reminds us that what attracts society’s notice may not be what attracts God’s, that our human values are not always the same as his. Barnabas was to be eclipsed by his disciple, Paul; and the Church remembers the dispute between them chiefly because Paul won his point; but I have a suspicion that in the court of heaven, Barnabas occupies a very high place from which he continues to encourage us still.

* The basilica in Cyprus is very beautiful, with hundreds of magnificent icons. It is certainly not a ‘second-best’ resting-place; my point is that in Rome St Barnabas is hardly mentioned, unlike the other figures of Apostolic times.

I think if I could have chosen a patron saint, it might well be Barnabas. Sadly I was born exactly two months after his memoria!

Long reigning Queen

Today saw the service in Westminster Abbey celebrating the 60th anniversary of Queen Elizabeth's reign. I've been struck by the times I have heard her accession to the throne described as a "vocation". I believe that is a good description of how she regards it, not a very popular concept these days.

In my 3 Minute Retreat reading today, based on Isaiah 49.6 ("I will make you a light to the nations...") I read this comment: "Each of is called to be a light to the nations. The light is generated when we are true to our vocations in life. And when each of us acknowledges and develops the talents that are part and parcel of our vocation, the light we bear brings salvation (restoration) to the world. We become co-creators with God in the work of salvation. How do we do this? Through the action of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is God's life at work in and through us. The more we open ourselves to the movement of the Holy Spirit, the brighter God's light of salvation shines."

"Spirit of God, move through me.
Help me to use my gifts in cooperation with God's plan of salvation."

I like the idea that when St Paul said, "Christ in you, the hope of glory", he was meaning the hope of glory for others. May we be faithful in whatever place and state God has called us.